So I was actually supposed to work a long weekend but the snow canceled all of it. I'm torn between whether this is a good thing or a bad thing because on one hand I really hate having to go into work, but on the other hand I haven;t had any work with Bill in a while and that obviously means no paycheck for a while. It would have been nice to fix that.
I got called in by Bill friday so I could help some new tech he has lay marley. It takes no time so he had me spend the rest of my two hours rearranging the entire set from a play that just ended in the shop to make room for a whole bunch of backdrops coming in for the show that was supposed to be this weekend. Apparently for some reason Essex wants to see the show that just ended in January so all the sticks and reeds and generally room taking up crap has to sit in the shop until they are ready to be shipped over to Essex.
I have already asked myself and Bill why the things weren't shipped sooner but I rescinded the question after I realized that these two giant pillars from the Annapolis Opera set have been sitting in the shop for a WHOLE YEAR. They were supposed to be revamped into something that was easy to take a part and put back together by Bill. It looks like he just cut them in half and then reattached them into something that could be pulled apart. In the short of it he didn't do anything with them and they are basically still just hogging room in the shop.
The shop is also cluttered up by trash cans and giant bags full of shredded tires (fake dirt) Apparently the one is so heavy only a forklift can move it. Which brings one to ask the question WHY you would leave somethign so unmovable in an area that is going to immediatley require it to be MOVED.
I'd get more oturaged or angry at this stuff but I don't really see the point because in a few short weeks I'll have plenty of work there and plenty of new things to make me angry.
Let's not waste all that good build up here.
_Liz
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Useless Tech Crew
That's what I feel like I am anyway. For one of my classes I am required to tech crew a show. So clearly I have no choice in the matter and I already missed the first show so the second one it simply must be.
And for good or bad I just happen to do absolutely nothing for the entirety of the show.
Well... almost nothing.
As the tech rehearsals started I had one thing to do. I flipped a switch at the beginning of the show turning on a coocoo clock. Then I turned it off. I then slept backstage for the next 5 hours, woke up helped put away props and such and then left.
After three days of sleeping the director and the stage manager found more for me to do and by opening week I actually had no time to sleep back stage. Then the day before preview night they took all of my actions away again so I'm back to doing absolutely nothing back stage. I still have to BE around though.
Which brings us to today. I showed up at the theatre today at Noon and I have to be here until 8. I've done three things and it's already 5:30. so Two and a half more hours of doing absolutely nothing.
Not all shows are like this. A lot of the time there is lots for tech crew to do. But this specific show has no make up very little costume work and to be honest almost nothing for the crew to do. So we just sit around.
le sigh?
And for good or bad I just happen to do absolutely nothing for the entirety of the show.
Well... almost nothing.
As the tech rehearsals started I had one thing to do. I flipped a switch at the beginning of the show turning on a coocoo clock. Then I turned it off. I then slept backstage for the next 5 hours, woke up helped put away props and such and then left.
After three days of sleeping the director and the stage manager found more for me to do and by opening week I actually had no time to sleep back stage. Then the day before preview night they took all of my actions away again so I'm back to doing absolutely nothing back stage. I still have to BE around though.
Which brings us to today. I showed up at the theatre today at Noon and I have to be here until 8. I've done three things and it's already 5:30. so Two and a half more hours of doing absolutely nothing.
Not all shows are like this. A lot of the time there is lots for tech crew to do. But this specific show has no make up very little costume work and to be honest almost nothing for the crew to do. So we just sit around.
le sigh?
Friday, December 4, 2009
Catching Up
I most humbly apologize to anyone who follows this blog for dropping off the map like I did. I had a few days work with Bill and then my father died and I kind of dropped off the map anywhere.
I realized how lax my updating had become and hereafter vow to do a better job. So Let's get right back into Bill Bashing.
Personally my favorite sport of them all when I'm stuck at work.
The last time I was unfortunate enough to be paid $9.00 and hour for his company he had asked Nate to drill a hole through a pipe, which wasn't working as nate realized as it was a tempered steel pipe which most people know is notoriously difficult and nearly impossible to just casually drill a hole through. So after Nate expressed issues with this the Almighty Bill himself came back to the shop to do it.
He asked me to hold the pipe still so it didn't spin. Note: here he did not ask my opinion thusly I never gave it. I DID however watch him melt two drill bits trying to drill a hole through this pipe. Bill then came to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with the pipe. He proceeded to pick up another tempered steel pipe and melt another drill bit on that pipe. he then picked up a third pipe which was NOT tempered drilled his hole and left.
Bill came back three minutes later and asked me to drill a second hole through the first half of the pipe because the bolt was actually going in at an angle and he required a second hole to make this work. I did it and he left again.
I'm pretty sure he gave me choice of work at this point and I chose rather than weave ugly yarn into a chicken wire tree to drill holes into two large three feet circles for some sort of weird Jail that Bill was constructing for the show.
Now if I had not myself seen Nate constructing the bottom of the platform for this Jail I never would have set foot on the thing. It stands about 13 feet off the stage and the actor is required to climb a very weird Jilty ladder made of metal to get to it. It doesn't look safe and probably isn't all that safe. But Nate built the support structure for it so I trusted standing on it.
Bill asked me to stand on the base for it and hold up one of the giant circles I had helped drill holes through above my head ( it needed to be 7 feet up I am only 6 feet tall) so he could attach some sort of clamp from it to a pipe hanging off the proscenium arch. It went miserably.
We barely got the entire ugly contraption up and working but because he screwed in his little holder somewhere other than centered the weight of the circle was causing it to tilt forward and the steel bars he was using for the jail were falling out with nothing else to keep them in place.
Bill set up a one sided ladder for me to climb down on to because we were done for the day.
I commented that it didn't look very stable and he told me that it was because only the left side of the ladder was actually on the ground, the other half was hanging off the stage but if I just keep all my weight on the left side of the ladder I will be fine.
Bill is an idiot with ladders.
I thought before that it doesn't take a genius to set up a ladder you put one end on the ground and the other against the stationary wall and bam, it's done. Bill never learned how to do this I guess. I declined climbing down his unstable ladder worked my way slowly down the 100% vertical jilty metal ladder and left for the day.
He has e-mail me a few times since then to do some hours. I think my favorite instance is him e-mailing me a nasty e-mail telling me that I can't just not show up for work without ever telling me that I had hours and also without calling me to inform me I was scheduled.
But that's just Bill.
I realized how lax my updating had become and hereafter vow to do a better job. So Let's get right back into Bill Bashing.
Personally my favorite sport of them all when I'm stuck at work.
The last time I was unfortunate enough to be paid $9.00 and hour for his company he had asked Nate to drill a hole through a pipe, which wasn't working as nate realized as it was a tempered steel pipe which most people know is notoriously difficult and nearly impossible to just casually drill a hole through. So after Nate expressed issues with this the Almighty Bill himself came back to the shop to do it.
He asked me to hold the pipe still so it didn't spin. Note: here he did not ask my opinion thusly I never gave it. I DID however watch him melt two drill bits trying to drill a hole through this pipe. Bill then came to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with the pipe. He proceeded to pick up another tempered steel pipe and melt another drill bit on that pipe. he then picked up a third pipe which was NOT tempered drilled his hole and left.
Bill came back three minutes later and asked me to drill a second hole through the first half of the pipe because the bolt was actually going in at an angle and he required a second hole to make this work. I did it and he left again.
I'm pretty sure he gave me choice of work at this point and I chose rather than weave ugly yarn into a chicken wire tree to drill holes into two large three feet circles for some sort of weird Jail that Bill was constructing for the show.
Now if I had not myself seen Nate constructing the bottom of the platform for this Jail I never would have set foot on the thing. It stands about 13 feet off the stage and the actor is required to climb a very weird Jilty ladder made of metal to get to it. It doesn't look safe and probably isn't all that safe. But Nate built the support structure for it so I trusted standing on it.
Bill asked me to stand on the base for it and hold up one of the giant circles I had helped drill holes through above my head ( it needed to be 7 feet up I am only 6 feet tall) so he could attach some sort of clamp from it to a pipe hanging off the proscenium arch. It went miserably.
We barely got the entire ugly contraption up and working but because he screwed in his little holder somewhere other than centered the weight of the circle was causing it to tilt forward and the steel bars he was using for the jail were falling out with nothing else to keep them in place.
Bill set up a one sided ladder for me to climb down on to because we were done for the day.
I commented that it didn't look very stable and he told me that it was because only the left side of the ladder was actually on the ground, the other half was hanging off the stage but if I just keep all my weight on the left side of the ladder I will be fine.
Bill is an idiot with ladders.
I thought before that it doesn't take a genius to set up a ladder you put one end on the ground and the other against the stationary wall and bam, it's done. Bill never learned how to do this I guess. I declined climbing down his unstable ladder worked my way slowly down the 100% vertical jilty metal ladder and left for the day.
He has e-mail me a few times since then to do some hours. I think my favorite instance is him e-mailing me a nasty e-mail telling me that I can't just not show up for work without ever telling me that I had hours and also without calling me to inform me I was scheduled.
But that's just Bill.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Got a problem? Use the "A" word alot!
When you have a problem there are several things you can do with it. For the purpose of this, I will use the example of the problem being the classic painful urination, i.e. you probably caught something.
1. Ignore it, aka "Grin and Bear it". You just suck it up, keep your head down, and hope it works itself out. Ignore the burning sensation in your nether regions, and hope that rash will clear up on it's own.
2. Get rid of it altogether. Just cut it off.
3. Another option is to address it head on. Call the last person you slept with and tell them to get tested!
The thing with these options, is that the all force you to acknowledge the problem, which is the first step in solving a problem. Which brings us to the "A" word, Acknowledgment. You can't solve a problem without it. What's worse is if someone else acknowledges the problem, tells you about, and you REFUSE to acknowledge it! That's the problem at the CCBC theatre. There are several problems in the theatre. The auditorium isn't regularly cleaned. Just today, a giant roach caused panic among the kids using the theatre. Well, not the kids, just some wuss chick yelling "smash it! smash it!" Nonetheless, what kind of reputation are we making with incidents like this? I know I'm not helping with this post, let alone this blog, but it's not like people haven't spoken up about the problems. Lots of people have, for years, but noone listens, and it makes me angry.
::Nathan::
1. Ignore it, aka "Grin and Bear it". You just suck it up, keep your head down, and hope it works itself out. Ignore the burning sensation in your nether regions, and hope that rash will clear up on it's own.
2. Get rid of it altogether. Just cut it off.
3. Another option is to address it head on. Call the last person you slept with and tell them to get tested!
The thing with these options, is that the all force you to acknowledge the problem, which is the first step in solving a problem. Which brings us to the "A" word, Acknowledgment. You can't solve a problem without it. What's worse is if someone else acknowledges the problem, tells you about, and you REFUSE to acknowledge it! That's the problem at the CCBC theatre. There are several problems in the theatre. The auditorium isn't regularly cleaned. Just today, a giant roach caused panic among the kids using the theatre. Well, not the kids, just some wuss chick yelling "smash it! smash it!" Nonetheless, what kind of reputation are we making with incidents like this? I know I'm not helping with this post, let alone this blog, but it's not like people haven't spoken up about the problems. Lots of people have, for years, but noone listens, and it makes me angry.
::Nathan::
Friday, August 7, 2009
The "L" word
NOTE: I know I have been neglecting my posting responsibilities, so here is the first in a series of short posts I will hopefully be making. Enjoy, or not, I don't really care.
Birds do it,
Bees do it
Even educated fleas do it.
Let's do it,
Let's lie in a job interview.
Yes, you know you've all done it. Told that one or two or twelve lies in a job interview. I'm not condemning you, who wouldn't lie? This job could be the difference between spending those lonely nights alone in your parents' basement, and spending the night with a beautiful prostitute in your parents' basement. But why lie? Do you think if you say that you don't work well with others, or that you hate having to deal with customers, or that you are not that great of a problem solver, that you'll get passed up for the job? Probably! But do you think that interviewers are stupid and don't know that you're lying? Unless you're applying for a high level government job that requires you to be strapped to a polygraph during the interview, probably! It's like the interviewers expect you to lie. With questions like "Why do you want to work here?", do they think you're going to say that you need the money to support your video game addiction? NO! You're gonna say that you love the comradery of the employees and how much you just like the workspace!
In conclusion, there is nothing wrong in lying at an interview. In fact I encourage it! Lie all you want, except about your qualifications. And remember, don't be a B.I.L.L., a Masters In Acting does not qualify you to work as a Technical Director in a theatre.
::Nathan::
Birds do it,
Bees do it
Even educated fleas do it.
Let's do it,
Let's lie in a job interview.
Yes, you know you've all done it. Told that one or two or twelve lies in a job interview. I'm not condemning you, who wouldn't lie? This job could be the difference between spending those lonely nights alone in your parents' basement, and spending the night with a beautiful prostitute in your parents' basement. But why lie? Do you think if you say that you don't work well with others, or that you hate having to deal with customers, or that you are not that great of a problem solver, that you'll get passed up for the job? Probably! But do you think that interviewers are stupid and don't know that you're lying? Unless you're applying for a high level government job that requires you to be strapped to a polygraph during the interview, probably! It's like the interviewers expect you to lie. With questions like "Why do you want to work here?", do they think you're going to say that you need the money to support your video game addiction? NO! You're gonna say that you love the comradery of the employees and how much you just like the workspace!
In conclusion, there is nothing wrong in lying at an interview. In fact I encourage it! Lie all you want, except about your qualifications. And remember, don't be a B.I.L.L., a Masters In Acting does not qualify you to work as a Technical Director in a theatre.
::Nathan::
Monday, August 3, 2009
Afternoon Redux
My Afternoons With Bill:
Bill showed up around 3:00 just when I thought I'd be able to slack off again and asked if I would help him in the barn with something. If I did he'd pay me for the whole 12 hours with 1 one hour break. I had nothing to loose seeing as I already slept.
So we locked up and off to the barn we trekked to set up some weird lights for some show he's working on. But Bill's favorite two things to do with me is either
A. Make me pick up something that would be much easier to move or carry with TWO people instead of one (see Giant Carpet, Roll of Fabric, Metal Poles)
and
B. Make me go somewhere he already knows I would 100% not go and that he could just as easily do without my anxiety. (see I'm afraid of heights)
He did both that day. He frequently asked me to move a ladder and stood there watching me move it rather than help. These ladders are of a height that falling off of would seriously injure. Of a height enough that I get nervous going to the top and not holding on to it. Which is exactly what Bill would have me do next.
One would think that because Bill knows where he needs the lights pointed he would just do it himself instead of making me move a heavy ladder climb up that ladder several times to refocus the light because I have NO IDEA where it's supposed to be pointed.
After the whole thing was over we went back over to the theater and Bill actually gave me a soda. We sat around and just chatted about stuff which really does reaffirm the idea that Bill is not a bad guy. He's a neat guy he is just so extremely under-qualified for his job that I feel that pain.
The End!
_Lynner
Bill showed up around 3:00 just when I thought I'd be able to slack off again and asked if I would help him in the barn with something. If I did he'd pay me for the whole 12 hours with 1 one hour break. I had nothing to loose seeing as I already slept.
So we locked up and off to the barn we trekked to set up some weird lights for some show he's working on. But Bill's favorite two things to do with me is either
A. Make me pick up something that would be much easier to move or carry with TWO people instead of one (see Giant Carpet, Roll of Fabric, Metal Poles)
and
B. Make me go somewhere he already knows I would 100% not go and that he could just as easily do without my anxiety. (see I'm afraid of heights)
He did both that day. He frequently asked me to move a ladder and stood there watching me move it rather than help. These ladders are of a height that falling off of would seriously injure. Of a height enough that I get nervous going to the top and not holding on to it. Which is exactly what Bill would have me do next.
One would think that because Bill knows where he needs the lights pointed he would just do it himself instead of making me move a heavy ladder climb up that ladder several times to refocus the light because I have NO IDEA where it's supposed to be pointed.
After the whole thing was over we went back over to the theater and Bill actually gave me a soda. We sat around and just chatted about stuff which really does reaffirm the idea that Bill is not a bad guy. He's a neat guy he is just so extremely under-qualified for his job that I feel that pain.
The End!
_Lynner
Friday, July 31, 2009
Rehearsal Rehearsal Rehearsal
It's 9:30 am when I'm unceremoniously awoken to a phone call. Of course it's my boss. Yay. Bill. What do you have in store for me this week? I mean considering that I haven't been paid for the last 4.
Well there is some sort of show that rehearses tomorrow. Would I mind coming in at 9 and staying until 9 you say? That should really shoot up the amount on my next pay check. Of COURSE I'll help you out. Who knows there might be some new vandalism to giggle over.
Well there is no new vandalism to giggle over. As always I show up to work late to show my blatant disrespect for the authority figures that might be around. Suprise to me NO ONE was around. For the next 2 hours and fifteen minutes I dragged a couch down the hall and around the corner and fell asleep on it backstage listening to NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. I wake up to the sounds of four young people dicking around on stage. I saw them go in the door and didn't think anything of it. Thinking "Well there is my event for the day 2 hours late" In the E-mail bill told me they would break at 11:30 - 1. These people are just showing up it's 11:30 now. Well the youths on the stage show me just what they are all about by beat boxing into the microphone on the podium. Badly.
I surprise everyone appearing from behind the curtains and tell them in so many words. Yea, Could you stop that? Thanks. After the initial shock of having someone come out of no where they realize I am not dressed like an authority figure so karma kind of paid back all the disrespect I showed up with this morning.
There is nothing better than an indignant kid asking you "Uh, who are you?"
Well I'm the Liz the God Damn Tech and I work here and I'd really appreciate it if you not only got the hell out of my face, but also stayed the hell off the microphone.
At least that is what I wish I had said. I really just replied "I work here."
Well that seemed to satisfy them until thier REAL authority figure showed up yelling at them for not being where they were supposed to be. Vindication! Now I don't have to feel bad about being rude. Especially waking up to see one of them changing pants in the hallway instead of going down the hall to the bathroom.
After a 30 minute ADHD conversation with a woman who repeats everything several times I discover that I am not just here for a rehearsal, but for a dance/fashion/drama/award ceremony/show.
I also found out that one of the women in charge had been sitting in the lobby for the past hour and a half wondering where all the kids who are supposed to be in the show and not knowing how to get into the theatre. Whereas I was sitting back stage for two hours wondering where the heck anyone who was supposed to be here was.
So what was going to be a twelve hour shift really just has me sitting on my ass for 8 hours with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs and sleep.
And then I work a show for four hours and leave. Go me!
or that's what I originally thought.
I decided that since I was scheduled for two sperate shifts. 9 - 3:30 with a break around 11 and then 5 - 9, and since I don't drive I'll just stay through the whole time.
Since this particular post is about the client and not Bill annoying me I'll leave the break for another time.
I showed back up around 5:30 set up the stage, a walky talky turned on all the lights and unlocked what was needed and went to the lighting booth to await the pain.
Knowing full well that out of the 60 kids in the show or that the show was four 9 of them showed up for rehearsal. So the women in charge had no idea what was going on or when they might show.
Because of the NON rehearsal I had to wing the lights and just make up something for whatever I thought they would be using.
Which soon started. Almost immediately a third into the show one of the main Lekos on Channel 1 blows. Every one who stands at the podium is mostly in the dark. At this point they had angered me enough in not responding to any thing I said on the walki talki and yelling incesantly for me to do things if I did not respond right away. I just have to be honest I didn't fix it. I didn't notice at first and by the time I did realize it had happened I just shrugged and said fuck it.
They skipped around on the program and dragged on entirely too long. They had three slide show presentations that they didn't tell anyone about and somehow thought I had a projector to use for them. They took SO LONG changing for this fashion show that They cut one of the dances. Also other people came out to small talk the audience while they waited for the models to change. During which the audience sat in the dark. They ran back upstairs afterwards and told me to put on a certain song because they (the models) hadn't finished. Which thankfully never happened seeing as their Guest speaker preached on for entirely too long keeping me there for a full hour after I was supposed to leave.
I think his message was that black people arej ust as good as white people. We need to remember that if you give me a (white famous person who did something important) I can give you a (mirrored individual who has also done something important in the same vien as the original white person but happen to be black) Which is the kind of relation you can make three times or so in a speech and have it make sense. But this bloke went on for forty minutes! He had like a hundered of these examples Only to of course end with Bill Clinton and Barak Obama. Or it could have been an FDR, by this point it was 30 minutes after when I was supposed to be able to leave and I just truly wanted to haul ass so I wasn't paying attention.
The original woman I met with found me after the show and thanked me for all my patience working with the clients that she's happy it went off so well knowing it was planned that afternoon and told me to go enjoy dinner and gave me an applebees gift card. She had read my mind I was just on nmy edge I wanted to leave so badly I thanked her graciously and ate buffallo wings less than 40 minutes later.
So Thanks To You Woman Who Told Everyone To Call Me Ms. Liz
You fixed the night.
_Liz
Well there is some sort of show that rehearses tomorrow. Would I mind coming in at 9 and staying until 9 you say? That should really shoot up the amount on my next pay check. Of COURSE I'll help you out. Who knows there might be some new vandalism to giggle over.
Well there is no new vandalism to giggle over. As always I show up to work late to show my blatant disrespect for the authority figures that might be around. Suprise to me NO ONE was around. For the next 2 hours and fifteen minutes I dragged a couch down the hall and around the corner and fell asleep on it backstage listening to NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. I wake up to the sounds of four young people dicking around on stage. I saw them go in the door and didn't think anything of it. Thinking "Well there is my event for the day 2 hours late" In the E-mail bill told me they would break at 11:30 - 1. These people are just showing up it's 11:30 now. Well the youths on the stage show me just what they are all about by beat boxing into the microphone on the podium. Badly.
I surprise everyone appearing from behind the curtains and tell them in so many words. Yea, Could you stop that? Thanks. After the initial shock of having someone come out of no where they realize I am not dressed like an authority figure so karma kind of paid back all the disrespect I showed up with this morning.
There is nothing better than an indignant kid asking you "Uh, who are you?"
Well I'm the Liz the God Damn Tech and I work here and I'd really appreciate it if you not only got the hell out of my face, but also stayed the hell off the microphone.
At least that is what I wish I had said. I really just replied "I work here."
Well that seemed to satisfy them until thier REAL authority figure showed up yelling at them for not being where they were supposed to be. Vindication! Now I don't have to feel bad about being rude. Especially waking up to see one of them changing pants in the hallway instead of going down the hall to the bathroom.
After a 30 minute ADHD conversation with a woman who repeats everything several times I discover that I am not just here for a rehearsal, but for a dance/fashion/drama/award ceremony/show.
I also found out that one of the women in charge had been sitting in the lobby for the past hour and a half wondering where all the kids who are supposed to be in the show and not knowing how to get into the theatre. Whereas I was sitting back stage for two hours wondering where the heck anyone who was supposed to be here was.
So what was going to be a twelve hour shift really just has me sitting on my ass for 8 hours with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs and sleep.
And then I work a show for four hours and leave. Go me!
or that's what I originally thought.
I decided that since I was scheduled for two sperate shifts. 9 - 3:30 with a break around 11 and then 5 - 9, and since I don't drive I'll just stay through the whole time.
Since this particular post is about the client and not Bill annoying me I'll leave the break for another time.
I showed back up around 5:30 set up the stage, a walky talky turned on all the lights and unlocked what was needed and went to the lighting booth to await the pain.
Knowing full well that out of the 60 kids in the show or that the show was four 9 of them showed up for rehearsal. So the women in charge had no idea what was going on or when they might show.
Because of the NON rehearsal I had to wing the lights and just make up something for whatever I thought they would be using.
Which soon started. Almost immediately a third into the show one of the main Lekos on Channel 1 blows. Every one who stands at the podium is mostly in the dark. At this point they had angered me enough in not responding to any thing I said on the walki talki and yelling incesantly for me to do things if I did not respond right away. I just have to be honest I didn't fix it. I didn't notice at first and by the time I did realize it had happened I just shrugged and said fuck it.
They skipped around on the program and dragged on entirely too long. They had three slide show presentations that they didn't tell anyone about and somehow thought I had a projector to use for them. They took SO LONG changing for this fashion show that They cut one of the dances. Also other people came out to small talk the audience while they waited for the models to change. During which the audience sat in the dark. They ran back upstairs afterwards and told me to put on a certain song because they (the models) hadn't finished. Which thankfully never happened seeing as their Guest speaker preached on for entirely too long keeping me there for a full hour after I was supposed to leave.
I think his message was that black people arej ust as good as white people. We need to remember that if you give me a (white famous person who did something important) I can give you a (mirrored individual who has also done something important in the same vien as the original white person but happen to be black) Which is the kind of relation you can make three times or so in a speech and have it make sense. But this bloke went on for forty minutes! He had like a hundered of these examples Only to of course end with Bill Clinton and Barak Obama. Or it could have been an FDR, by this point it was 30 minutes after when I was supposed to be able to leave and I just truly wanted to haul ass so I wasn't paying attention.
The original woman I met with found me after the show and thanked me for all my patience working with the clients that she's happy it went off so well knowing it was planned that afternoon and told me to go enjoy dinner and gave me an applebees gift card. She had read my mind I was just on nmy edge I wanted to leave so badly I thanked her graciously and ate buffallo wings less than 40 minutes later.
So Thanks To You Woman Who Told Everyone To Call Me Ms. Liz
You fixed the night.
_Liz
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Constructive Vandalism
So as much as I do tend to dislike my job it's mostly because of the asinine way I feel like my highly underqualified boss behaves more than what I have to do. I really love theatre and I like doing even the menial things. I like painting sets and building sets and I like hanging lights, I even enjoy sitting through shows and musicals even tho I'm fairly sure that Nate hates most of those things.
Recently however someone has been coming into the building after hours and vandalizing things. Not even smart things just anything. They went into the catwalk and took all the fuses out of the dimmer box and fiddled with all the circuits and set ups. When I came in the next day with Bill not only did half the lights not work but we had to overhaul the entire light set up. Which to be honest needed to be done anyway. The new light setup is just as bad as the old one. BUT at least it's better in a few ways.
So we overhauled the entire light system and figured out what was wrong with the dimmer box and it was fixed by the next day. it took all week to get the lights back up to where they needed to be.
I go into work yesterday to discover someone took black spray paint and vanalized the billboards by writing TAG and Bill's name. They also sprayed every congratulations letter that had been posted about the last show. The spray painted the fuse box cover and the water fountain as well as the sign on the door leading to backstage.
After that wonderful spray excursion they trekked to Bill's office which is such a stickler because this definitly means they have keys. If the journey to the catwalk proved nothing now I kknow they HAD to have keys. There are at least TWO doors they have to get past to accomplish this new one. They went into Bill's office and cut the cord to his mouse and keyboard. As in with a boxcutter or scissors.
I have nothing wrong with them obviosuly exacting some sort of plan of revenge against Bill but I really wish two things. A. They stop making more work for me because I like being lazy, and B. That they get a little more creative with thier vandalism. if you have something to say and you have a can of spray paint I don't know why you couldn't go to town across his framed Nominations [not wins] Why can't you spray paint Fuck You Bill on the elephant door which is to be honest entirely impossible to clean. It would be there for a long time unless he painted over it. Why couldn't you turn every light in the theatre the other way instead of stealing easily replacable fuses from the dimmer box?
I'm just asking mysterious vandal that you get more humourus with your vandalism. Bill knows you hate him and he is seriosuly hard pressed to figure out why. So If you do hate him congrats on that. But don't make me hate you too get - creative, get constructive.
To be Honest I was considering putting in my two weeks notice this week because as always there have been hijinks involved with me getting paid. But I simply can't pass up a chance to see what's going to happen next.
So keep up the good work, and push the boundaries of your creativity.
_Liz
Recently however someone has been coming into the building after hours and vandalizing things. Not even smart things just anything. They went into the catwalk and took all the fuses out of the dimmer box and fiddled with all the circuits and set ups. When I came in the next day with Bill not only did half the lights not work but we had to overhaul the entire light set up. Which to be honest needed to be done anyway. The new light setup is just as bad as the old one. BUT at least it's better in a few ways.
So we overhauled the entire light system and figured out what was wrong with the dimmer box and it was fixed by the next day. it took all week to get the lights back up to where they needed to be.
I go into work yesterday to discover someone took black spray paint and vanalized the billboards by writing TAG and Bill's name. They also sprayed every congratulations letter that had been posted about the last show. The spray painted the fuse box cover and the water fountain as well as the sign on the door leading to backstage.
After that wonderful spray excursion they trekked to Bill's office which is such a stickler because this definitly means they have keys. If the journey to the catwalk proved nothing now I kknow they HAD to have keys. There are at least TWO doors they have to get past to accomplish this new one. They went into Bill's office and cut the cord to his mouse and keyboard. As in with a boxcutter or scissors.
I have nothing wrong with them obviosuly exacting some sort of plan of revenge against Bill but I really wish two things. A. They stop making more work for me because I like being lazy, and B. That they get a little more creative with thier vandalism. if you have something to say and you have a can of spray paint I don't know why you couldn't go to town across his framed Nominations [not wins] Why can't you spray paint Fuck You Bill on the elephant door which is to be honest entirely impossible to clean. It would be there for a long time unless he painted over it. Why couldn't you turn every light in the theatre the other way instead of stealing easily replacable fuses from the dimmer box?
I'm just asking mysterious vandal that you get more humourus with your vandalism. Bill knows you hate him and he is seriosuly hard pressed to figure out why. So If you do hate him congrats on that. But don't make me hate you too get - creative, get constructive.
To be Honest I was considering putting in my two weeks notice this week because as always there have been hijinks involved with me getting paid. But I simply can't pass up a chance to see what's going to happen next.
So keep up the good work, and push the boundaries of your creativity.
_Liz
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
On Came The Storm, Out Went The Wind
So Off I went to our bosses office. I had a small list of demands. Nate and I had been talking and pulled together a list of stuff we wanted to get done, things we felt that after being done would help contribute to a happier and safer working environment.
We were hoping to get more hours, To get these dangerous speakers hanging above the stage DOWN. That we would have better scheduling, not a random e-mail the day before he wants us to come in along with that more hours.
We were hoping that as the people who work the events we could have some more communication for the shows to actually go off better.
We were going to request that he hire both of us for shows that required intensive lighting and sound board work so one person wouldn't be scrambling to do the job of two people.
We were also going to request some new tools for the shop. Drills that work, screw guns that aren't broken. Maintenance.
We walked in expecting to actually get some of this stuff done, to talk about it and have a conversation.
He shot down more hours, he shot down taking the speakers of the stage and I have to be honest I lost my will to stand there and talk to him. If I weren't so damn broke and in need of hours I wouldn't go into work tomorrow either. Working at this theater has so broken my disobediant will to stand up and insist things be done right.
I don't even want to claim I'm sticking around to try and get him fired, or that I'm there to gripe about it online. I honest to god just want to quit working there.
No one else seems to care that things are being done half ass. It's morally painful to be surrounded by people who think barely enough is Too much.
I love theater too much to be able to stand this much longer. I'm pulling together my resume as I type.
_Liz
We were hoping to get more hours, To get these dangerous speakers hanging above the stage DOWN. That we would have better scheduling, not a random e-mail the day before he wants us to come in along with that more hours.
We were hoping that as the people who work the events we could have some more communication for the shows to actually go off better.
We were going to request that he hire both of us for shows that required intensive lighting and sound board work so one person wouldn't be scrambling to do the job of two people.
We were also going to request some new tools for the shop. Drills that work, screw guns that aren't broken. Maintenance.
We walked in expecting to actually get some of this stuff done, to talk about it and have a conversation.
He shot down more hours, he shot down taking the speakers of the stage and I have to be honest I lost my will to stand there and talk to him. If I weren't so damn broke and in need of hours I wouldn't go into work tomorrow either. Working at this theater has so broken my disobediant will to stand up and insist things be done right.
I don't even want to claim I'm sticking around to try and get him fired, or that I'm there to gripe about it online. I honest to god just want to quit working there.
No one else seems to care that things are being done half ass. It's morally painful to be surrounded by people who think barely enough is Too much.
I love theater too much to be able to stand this much longer. I'm pulling together my resume as I type.
_Liz
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Mission Impossible
I'd like all you readers to imagine for a moment if you please that you get a phone call…
That goes something like this:
*Phone ring*
Me: Hello?
Boss: Yea, Hello Liz
Me: Hello [Boss], What's up?
Boss: I was just calling to see if you would be interested in working
Me: I got your e-mail about the reschedule for yesterday
Boss: You got that? Good...
Me: I'll e-mail you back later
Boss: I was just calling to see if you would be interested in working crew for a show
Me: Sure, what time?
Boss: I... uh.. I don't know
Me: What day?
Boss: I'm not sure...
Me: What's the name of the show?
Boss: I don't know
Me: What will I be doing?
Boss: Well.. I'm just trying to find some people for someone who is looking for crew for his show at Essex...
Me: Who?
Boss: You'll get around 200 dollars for doing it
Me: What will I be doing again?
Boss: I don't know.. I mean I know what I'm doing for one of the shows but I don't know what they need you for
Me: So you want me to work a show that you don't know the name of to do something you don't know about for 200 dollars for someone you don't really know at an undetermined time?
Boss: I have his e-mail.. he e-mailed me asking for help
Me: Well send me his e-mail so I can get in touch with him
Boss: Okay. I'll talk to you later
*click*
Me: I HATE you.
To be fair tho.. this is a typical correspondance with Our Boss.
Boss: Hey Liz can you work this week? Monday through Sunday
Me: What time?
Boss: uh.. I'm not sure.. I think you need to be there at 8 am, until 9 pm
Me: What will I be doing?
Boss: I.. uh, I'm not sure
Me: Am I just sitting in the booth baby sitting someone using the stage? Usual turn on the lights and set up and stay out of the way unless I'm needed?
Boss: That sounds about right.
Me: I can do that.
Boss: Okay thanks, bye.
*click*
Me: I HATE YOU
But when I show up, I'm actually required to sit through a dance show rehearsal all week and then, unbeknownst to me, run both the light board and sound board by myself as well as put light cues in. This is NOT baby sitting the usage of the stage.
Somewhere in the communication between the people using the stage and Bill these fanciful stories get told about his Techs who can run both Light board and Sound board at the same time as well as run the curtain. His Techs who can magically fix any light to be exactly what the customer wants. his Magical techs who will set up whatever the customer needs even if it;'s not our job.
Then we show up after he has told us that all we need to do is set up for this event and in actuality the event is poorly organized and being changed at the last second and we must scramble to fix it all with no thanks but instead a really nasty stage manager who has no clue how to do cue calls.
The customers tell us that Bill told them they would get kicker speakers. Bill tells us that they never asked for kicker speakers.
The customers tell us that Bill told them we would fulfill all their Lighting needs.
Nate noticed in the e-mail to us Bill said that they didn't pay for any special lighting changes.
I could sit here and go on ALL night. But I won't I'm done complaining. I want to go watch Tosh.0
Yours Angrily
_Liz
That goes something like this:
*Phone ring*
Me: Hello?
Boss: Yea, Hello Liz
Me: Hello [Boss], What's up?
Boss: I was just calling to see if you would be interested in working
Me: I got your e-mail about the reschedule for yesterday
Boss: You got that? Good...
Me: I'll e-mail you back later
Boss: I was just calling to see if you would be interested in working crew for a show
Me: Sure, what time?
Boss: I... uh.. I don't know
Me: What day?
Boss: I'm not sure...
Me: What's the name of the show?
Boss: I don't know
Me: What will I be doing?
Boss: Well.. I'm just trying to find some people for someone who is looking for crew for his show at Essex...
Me: Who?
Boss: You'll get around 200 dollars for doing it
Me: What will I be doing again?
Boss: I don't know.. I mean I know what I'm doing for one of the shows but I don't know what they need you for
Me: So you want me to work a show that you don't know the name of to do something you don't know about for 200 dollars for someone you don't really know at an undetermined time?
Boss: I have his e-mail.. he e-mailed me asking for help
Me: Well send me his e-mail so I can get in touch with him
Boss: Okay. I'll talk to you later
*click*
Me: I HATE you.
To be fair tho.. this is a typical correspondance with Our Boss.
Boss: Hey Liz can you work this week? Monday through Sunday
Me: What time?
Boss: uh.. I'm not sure.. I think you need to be there at 8 am, until 9 pm
Me: What will I be doing?
Boss: I.. uh, I'm not sure
Me: Am I just sitting in the booth baby sitting someone using the stage? Usual turn on the lights and set up and stay out of the way unless I'm needed?
Boss: That sounds about right.
Me: I can do that.
Boss: Okay thanks, bye.
*click*
Me: I HATE YOU
But when I show up, I'm actually required to sit through a dance show rehearsal all week and then, unbeknownst to me, run both the light board and sound board by myself as well as put light cues in. This is NOT baby sitting the usage of the stage.
Somewhere in the communication between the people using the stage and Bill these fanciful stories get told about his Techs who can run both Light board and Sound board at the same time as well as run the curtain. His Techs who can magically fix any light to be exactly what the customer wants. his Magical techs who will set up whatever the customer needs even if it;'s not our job.
Then we show up after he has told us that all we need to do is set up for this event and in actuality the event is poorly organized and being changed at the last second and we must scramble to fix it all with no thanks but instead a really nasty stage manager who has no clue how to do cue calls.
The customers tell us that Bill told them they would get kicker speakers. Bill tells us that they never asked for kicker speakers.
The customers tell us that Bill told them we would fulfill all their Lighting needs.
Nate noticed in the e-mail to us Bill said that they didn't pay for any special lighting changes.
I could sit here and go on ALL night. But I won't I'm done complaining. I want to go watch Tosh.0
Yours Angrily
_Liz
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
We're All Sick! We're Staying Home!
Dear Boss,
I know sometimes you're thinking to yourself. How odd is it that all my workers are sick at the exact same time…
Well I'll be honest with you, they aren't all sick. They just got together and collectively agreed that none of them wanted to actually be at work that day. Not only did none of them individually want to come into work. Also none of them wanted to be at work without any of the others to account as a buffer between them and you. So NONE of us came into work today.
I'd apologize to you if I were sorry. At least I have insomnia to hide behind. It's really hard to expect me to haul lights up and down a 40 step spiral staircase when I haven;t slept in 2 days. I was being honest when I said I ached all over and strenuous physical activity was just beyond me at the time.
I can't speak for my fellow blogger. I think he just hates you. Well so do I. You're an incompetent. I also hate that you've been getting work on the side doing things that you obviously do poorly for our theatre it blows my mind that anyone could think that you would do it well elsewhere.
The level of your incompetency astonished and shocks even me sometimes. The amount of danger you bring to a workplace that we have worked very hard to have none in also blows my mind. I can say with great displeasure that this has been the worst job I have ever had to hold on to.
This isn't a letter of resignation. Just complaint.
_Liz
I know sometimes you're thinking to yourself. How odd is it that all my workers are sick at the exact same time…
Well I'll be honest with you, they aren't all sick. They just got together and collectively agreed that none of them wanted to actually be at work that day. Not only did none of them individually want to come into work. Also none of them wanted to be at work without any of the others to account as a buffer between them and you. So NONE of us came into work today.
I'd apologize to you if I were sorry. At least I have insomnia to hide behind. It's really hard to expect me to haul lights up and down a 40 step spiral staircase when I haven;t slept in 2 days. I was being honest when I said I ached all over and strenuous physical activity was just beyond me at the time.
I can't speak for my fellow blogger. I think he just hates you. Well so do I. You're an incompetent. I also hate that you've been getting work on the side doing things that you obviously do poorly for our theatre it blows my mind that anyone could think that you would do it well elsewhere.
The level of your incompetency astonished and shocks even me sometimes. The amount of danger you bring to a workplace that we have worked very hard to have none in also blows my mind. I can say with great displeasure that this has been the worst job I have ever had to hold on to.
This isn't a letter of resignation. Just complaint.
_Liz
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The dictionary according to Nate
Disclaimer: Please note that this post may be incredibly offensive and should not be read if you can't take a joke, or if you can, cause I was being totally serious when I wrote this. Also contains personal shots at individuals. You have been warned.
Audition Slippers - n. Kneepads. Used to imply that some actors are so horrible that they had to have spent more time on their knees than on the stage during the audition. Example: "She's so horrible on that stage. Did she spend alot of time with the director wearing audition slippers?"
B.I.L.L. - n. Acronym for Boss Is a Lazy Lummox. Almost always used as an insult. Example: If you put those speakers up there, you'll look like such a bill. Don't be a bill.
CCBC - n. A place where almost everything is half-assed by the administration and "higher-ups" and where hopes and dreams go to die. Also known as "Cost Comes Before Convenience", "The Hellhole" and "That Place". Example: John: "The lights here suck." Nathan: "Welcome to CCBC!"
Dance Express - n. Used to express something gross or unpleasant. Example: If you need me I'll be sitting on the toilet taking a massive dance express.
Jesus Wrench - n. Altman lighting wrenches. Called such because of it's cross shape and rumored mystical powers to keep evil spirits such as actors away.
Kwaliteee - n. The way that "quality" is apparently spelled at CCBC, cause they sure as hell don't know what the one spelt with a "Q" means! See CCBC.
Masters in Acting - n. A degree that DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT qualify one to work as a technical director, but is not apparently a problem at CCBC. See CCBC. Example: My boss is in no way qualified for his job BECAUSE HE HAS A FREAKING MASTERS IN ACTING!!!
OSHA - n. Occupational Safety and Health Administration. A name tossed about when you actually want something done. Has the odd ability of getting you fired if not used properly. Example: Employee: "Do it or we'll call OSHA". Boss: "Call OSHA and you're fired!"
Techie - n. Term thrown around in performing arts to refer to anyone with little to no technical knowledge and black clothing. Due to it's blatant misuse and new found association with "imitation technicians who don't know what they are doing" is now considered to be derogatory by some. Is also an incredibly stupid sounding word to start with. Example: "Look at me, I'm a Techie! Watch me FAIL at using a screw driver!"
Trifles - n. Something we just don't talk about. Example: I hope this isn't going to be another Trifles!
::Nate::
Audition Slippers - n. Kneepads. Used to imply that some actors are so horrible that they had to have spent more time on their knees than on the stage during the audition. Example: "She's so horrible on that stage. Did she spend alot of time with the director wearing audition slippers?"
B.I.L.L. - n. Acronym for Boss Is a Lazy Lummox. Almost always used as an insult. Example: If you put those speakers up there, you'll look like such a bill. Don't be a bill.
CCBC - n. A place where almost everything is half-assed by the administration and "higher-ups" and where hopes and dreams go to die. Also known as "Cost Comes Before Convenience", "The Hellhole" and "That Place". Example: John: "The lights here suck." Nathan: "Welcome to CCBC!"
Dance Express - n. Used to express something gross or unpleasant. Example: If you need me I'll be sitting on the toilet taking a massive dance express.
Jesus Wrench - n. Altman lighting wrenches. Called such because of it's cross shape and rumored mystical powers to keep evil spirits such as actors away.
Kwaliteee - n. The way that "quality" is apparently spelled at CCBC, cause they sure as hell don't know what the one spelt with a "Q" means! See CCBC.
Masters in Acting - n. A degree that DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT qualify one to work as a technical director, but is not apparently a problem at CCBC. See CCBC. Example: My boss is in no way qualified for his job BECAUSE HE HAS A FREAKING MASTERS IN ACTING!!!
OSHA - n. Occupational Safety and Health Administration. A name tossed about when you actually want something done. Has the odd ability of getting you fired if not used properly. Example: Employee: "Do it or we'll call OSHA". Boss: "Call OSHA and you're fired!"
Techie - n. Term thrown around in performing arts to refer to anyone with little to no technical knowledge and black clothing. Due to it's blatant misuse and new found association with "imitation technicians who don't know what they are doing" is now considered to be derogatory by some. Is also an incredibly stupid sounding word to start with. Example: "Look at me, I'm a Techie! Watch me FAIL at using a screw driver!"
Trifles - n. Something we just don't talk about. Example: I hope this isn't going to be another Trifles!
::Nate::
Friday, June 19, 2009
Everyone Loves a Suprise!
While this saying might be true for the audience there is nothing I hate more than getting a suprise during the show.
Part of the reason we have rehearsals is so that everyone on stage knows what they're doing, and so that everyone back stage knows what they are doing.
There is no point in having light cues that you aren't going to bother using. This could have saved me 2 hours of rehearsal on my Thursday evening. And it also could have made the dances that you had planned to look gorgeous remain so.
Dance recitals and Plays do have one thing in common. It is incredibly inappropriate to shout out someones name when they come on stage. Not at the beginning of the performance, not in the middle and most certainly not at the end. You respectfully wait until after the show to congratulate them on a job well done. Tell me why every single audience for the past FIVE dance recitals thinks it's okay just to bellow out at the dancers.
Last weekend it actually caused such a distraction one of the dancers forgot thier moves and then didn't even both to play it off but instead covered her hands and ran off stage. At this point I had been through too many annoying rehearsals and angry directors telling them how to act and behave to feel any pity for her making an ass out of herself after the audience has made an ass out of itself
I've stopped watching these shows. I just do the light cues when they are called to me.
_Liz
Part of the reason we have rehearsals is so that everyone on stage knows what they're doing, and so that everyone back stage knows what they are doing.
There is no point in having light cues that you aren't going to bother using. This could have saved me 2 hours of rehearsal on my Thursday evening. And it also could have made the dances that you had planned to look gorgeous remain so.
Dance recitals and Plays do have one thing in common. It is incredibly inappropriate to shout out someones name when they come on stage. Not at the beginning of the performance, not in the middle and most certainly not at the end. You respectfully wait until after the show to congratulate them on a job well done. Tell me why every single audience for the past FIVE dance recitals thinks it's okay just to bellow out at the dancers.
Last weekend it actually caused such a distraction one of the dancers forgot thier moves and then didn't even both to play it off but instead covered her hands and ran off stage. At this point I had been through too many annoying rehearsals and angry directors telling them how to act and behave to feel any pity for her making an ass out of herself after the audience has made an ass out of itself
I've stopped watching these shows. I just do the light cues when they are called to me.
_Liz
Organization
The easiest way to get pliable and friendly and helpful tech staff is to be properly organized. If you come to a show with Tech Sheets for every scene or dance in your show with specific instructions for the lights and the sound then Tech will really appreciate it and even if they don't want to be there they will remain friendly to your face and more importantly behind your back. If you don't come running to them every fifteen minutes demanding or asking that they scramble to bring you some obscure request that doesn't even properly fall under their jurisdiction the chances that they will help you [ even if they can ] are low and the chances that they will talk shit as soon as you leave is much much higher.
Every tech talks shit about shows. Usually during a show. If some member of the show happens to be around the Techs will bite their tongue but chances are most will just find some subversive way to do it with them still there. Nate and I are a fan of during rehearsals sitting in the light booth and making fun of everything through Instant Messenger on our laptops. Another favorite of ours is talking frequently about burning down the Theatre. This is hardly true of all tech, our obsession with bringing an end to the tyranny that ruins our workplace is ever lasting and our attraction to fire is obvious because fire is cool.
When you spend an entire week on a tech rehearsal for a show you learn the cues it's a real bitch when people come running up to you and demand that you ADD cues in the middle of the show. Which sometimes is nigh impossible and just requires some really quick patch work from the Techs. When you say things like "Oh can you just plug this Boom Box into the Sound System, then we can just play it on stage" you have to realize things like that aren't just that simple when the sound system is up in the booth. We can't just run a cord down through the audience and onto the stage just so you can plug a boom box into it and have the boom box on stage while the two dancers you have who are just adding a dance into the middle of the show at the last minute can come out and pretend to know how to break dance. [I'm serious if you had been here for this show you would not have believe how awful this break dancing and crunk was. I think perhaps I would rather have watched Legally Blonde than sit through it again. ] OR you could just give us the CD and we can play the track number needed through the sound system from the booth.
Sometimes we don't have to do things for you. At our theatre Nate and I aren't required to do things if you haven't previously specified to our bosses that you need us to do it. Setting up tables in the lobby so you can sell snacks that your audience will just bring in and eat in the theatre despite all the signs telling them NOT TO isn't our job. Emptying trash cans is 100% not our Job. Putting away your props is not our job and most importantly keeping track of whatever your dancers or actors did with whatever expensive peripheral backstage is not our problem either.
We are not and cannot be held responsible for your possessions. If you have a show and you leave your expensive black berry and iPod in the dressing room out in the open and someone takes it then you can't come crying to us. perhaps you should have locked your shit in your car.
We are vaugle responsible for the splinters that you might get when dancing on the floor but we are in no way responsible for the splinters that you DO get running through the shop barefoot to make it to the other side of the stage because you were too slow with your quick change.
Just to make sure you understand a quick change is supposed to be quick! FAST! YOU ARE QUICKLY CHANGING YOUR DAMN OUTFIT! You are NOT asking the techs to fade in and out 4 minutes of filler muisc between every dance that the audience can listen to while they sit in the dark and wait for you all to be ready to perform your next solidly crappy dance routine.
Liz the Tech is Displeased.
Every tech talks shit about shows. Usually during a show. If some member of the show happens to be around the Techs will bite their tongue but chances are most will just find some subversive way to do it with them still there. Nate and I are a fan of during rehearsals sitting in the light booth and making fun of everything through Instant Messenger on our laptops. Another favorite of ours is talking frequently about burning down the Theatre. This is hardly true of all tech, our obsession with bringing an end to the tyranny that ruins our workplace is ever lasting and our attraction to fire is obvious because fire is cool.
When you spend an entire week on a tech rehearsal for a show you learn the cues it's a real bitch when people come running up to you and demand that you ADD cues in the middle of the show. Which sometimes is nigh impossible and just requires some really quick patch work from the Techs. When you say things like "Oh can you just plug this Boom Box into the Sound System, then we can just play it on stage" you have to realize things like that aren't just that simple when the sound system is up in the booth. We can't just run a cord down through the audience and onto the stage just so you can plug a boom box into it and have the boom box on stage while the two dancers you have who are just adding a dance into the middle of the show at the last minute can come out and pretend to know how to break dance. [I'm serious if you had been here for this show you would not have believe how awful this break dancing and crunk was. I think perhaps I would rather have watched Legally Blonde than sit through it again. ] OR you could just give us the CD and we can play the track number needed through the sound system from the booth.
Sometimes we don't have to do things for you. At our theatre Nate and I aren't required to do things if you haven't previously specified to our bosses that you need us to do it. Setting up tables in the lobby so you can sell snacks that your audience will just bring in and eat in the theatre despite all the signs telling them NOT TO isn't our job. Emptying trash cans is 100% not our Job. Putting away your props is not our job and most importantly keeping track of whatever your dancers or actors did with whatever expensive peripheral backstage is not our problem either.
We are not and cannot be held responsible for your possessions. If you have a show and you leave your expensive black berry and iPod in the dressing room out in the open and someone takes it then you can't come crying to us. perhaps you should have locked your shit in your car.
We are vaugle responsible for the splinters that you might get when dancing on the floor but we are in no way responsible for the splinters that you DO get running through the shop barefoot to make it to the other side of the stage because you were too slow with your quick change.
Just to make sure you understand a quick change is supposed to be quick! FAST! YOU ARE QUICKLY CHANGING YOUR DAMN OUTFIT! You are NOT asking the techs to fade in and out 4 minutes of filler muisc between every dance that the audience can listen to while they sit in the dark and wait for you all to be ready to perform your next solidly crappy dance routine.
Liz the Tech is Displeased.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Smiling Faces
So I have sat through a lot of dance recitals. Not always because I wanted to be there but I have seen a lot. From my own personal experience the enjoyment i take from the dance directly correlates the emotion showing on the dancer's faces.
If the song is up beat and happy and the dancers are moving a lot I expect to see a smile on thier faces. When I look and I see them looking bored or rolling their eyes back ( obviously thinking too hard about the dance itself) it's not enjoyable for me. Or anyone else in the audience for that matter.
When they say smiling is everything they mean it. If a smile is appropriate for the song then a smile should be plastered on your face even if you screw up, even if you don't want to be there. Even if the girl dancing next to you has something weird happens.
if the song is somber and sad then the face should reflect the emotion that the dance is trying to convey.
Smile people SMILE!
We're watching.
::Liz::
If the song is up beat and happy and the dancers are moving a lot I expect to see a smile on thier faces. When I look and I see them looking bored or rolling their eyes back ( obviously thinking too hard about the dance itself) it's not enjoyable for me. Or anyone else in the audience for that matter.
When they say smiling is everything they mean it. If a smile is appropriate for the song then a smile should be plastered on your face even if you screw up, even if you don't want to be there. Even if the girl dancing next to you has something weird happens.
if the song is somber and sad then the face should reflect the emotion that the dance is trying to convey.
Smile people SMILE!
We're watching.
::Liz::
Symmetry
So, you know what I hate? Asymmetry when it could be symmetrical. I hate when I go to Fells Point, cause cobblestones annoy the shit out of me!! Like really, you couldn't just take a few extra moments to line the them the fuck up? I'm sure Fells Point is a lovely place, but those freaking cobblestones!!! I was working a dance concert, and all I could think was, "OH MY GOD! If you're gonna have different colored jeans on you dancers, at least even it out so it looks like a pattern of some sort. Don't have two in dark blue, five in light blue, and one in a middle color of some sort, and even if those are the only colors you can get, freaking making them into some kind of pattern! Hold on one sec...*talks to Liz*...well I know cobblestones are supposed crooked, doesn't mean they don't annoy the crap out of me!! ARGH!!!
About a month ago, Liz and I got roped in working a dance concert for a group called "Dance Express" who, not only didn't have their dancing together, they were asymmetric all over the fucking place. For the record, this is how symmetry works in a dance concert. You have three dancers, it two on each side and one in the middle. Four dancers, two on each side. Five dancers: two on each side and one in the middle. You can't have one on Stage Left, three on Downstage Right and one randomly placed somewhere. Get it right people!
:::Nate:::
About a month ago, Liz and I got roped in working a dance concert for a group called "Dance Express" who, not only didn't have their dancing together, they were asymmetric all over the fucking place. For the record, this is how symmetry works in a dance concert. You have three dancers, it two on each side and one in the middle. Four dancers, two on each side. Five dancers: two on each side and one in the middle. You can't have one on Stage Left, three on Downstage Right and one randomly placed somewhere. Get it right people!
:::Nate:::
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