We're All Sick! We're Staying Home!

Dear Boss,
I know sometimes you're thinking to yourself. How odd is it that all my workers are sick at the exact same time…

Well I'll be honest with you, they aren't all sick. They just got together and collectively agreed that none of them wanted to actually be at work that day. Not only did none of them individually want to come into work. Also none of them wanted to be at work without any of the others to account as a buffer between them and you. So NONE of us came into work today.

I'd apologize to you if I were sorry. At least I have insomnia to hide behind. It's really hard to expect me to haul lights up and down a 40 step spiral staircase when I haven;t slept in 2 days. I was being honest when I said I ached all over and strenuous physical activity was just beyond me at the time.

I can't speak for my fellow blogger. I think he just hates you. Well so do I. You're an incompetent. I also hate that you've been getting work on the side doing things that you obviously do poorly for our theatre it blows my mind that anyone could think that you would do it well elsewhere.
The level of your incompetency astonished and shocks even me sometimes. The amount of danger you bring to a workplace that we have worked very hard to have none in also blows my mind. I can say with great displeasure that this has been the worst job I have ever had to hold on to.

This isn't a letter of resignation. Just complaint.


_Liz